Match Reports vs JPXX

League Cup Final 2006 - The Battle of Aberdeen

25 February 2006

Venue: Aberdeen Sports Center Grass Pitch

After a poor start to the season (losing the opening game), the fortunes of Dogs United have greatly improved. Attendance has increased (player attendance that is, not spectators ...) and we've even managed to win the odd games. It is interesting in that, though traditionally DUFC play all-out attacking football, the statistics show before this game that the regular forward-line (Hoi, LCK, Michael, Kenneth and Joe) have only manage 1 goal amongest them. Our central defender Dennis - and top goalscorer - has scored 2 ...

Anyway back to this match report. DUFC face a challenging opponent in the form of JPXX in the League Cup Final 2006. Build-up to this match was full of controversy; the DUFC scouting team (i.e. Jason - who by day is a JPXX employee) reported a team made of reserves for the Final. However, only a few days before the game, the JPXX line-up was drastically changed including several "hire-guns", who not only have the scouting team never seen before - they're not even on the JPXX payroll. It seems the opponent will do anything illegal to win at all costs. An inquiry to the FIFA organzing body will be made shortly.

For DUFC this was a milestone game: the first time the Team played on real grass, and the first time the Team played with 11-a-side. So you can see Dogs United are fully prepared and experienced for the Cup Final.

On a rain soaked pitch, the players entered the field ...

Dennis was liberal enough to invite his "best friend" Ah On to the game. One look at him and you know he is a good player. You don't have to see him play - you just know he is good. Why? Because Ah On was sporting the New adidas Predator +absolute TRX FG model - in RED/BLACK! When the official boot supplier to all Hong Kong football players, Hing Fat, does not have in stock, you know Ah On must be special.

Kick off. Dogs United got the game underway with a contemporary 3-5-2 formation. This means 1 sweeper, 2 central defenders, 2 defensive midfielders, 2 wing-backs, 1 offensive midfielder and 2 forwards. This was planned weeks before the game and discussed by the DUFC generals in the Strategic Real-time Battle and Control System - the DogsUnited.net discussion forum.

Whether the players understood the meaning of 3-5-2 does not matter. Captain Hoi, "It doesn't matter if we win or lose. As long as we don't lose." Er ... more words of wisodm from our Captain ...

The opening exchanges were played at a casual pace, with smiles and handshakes exchanged between the teams. The DUFC formation was holding up and the GK had nothing to do.

They say that the more work you put in training, the more rewards you reap on the football pitch. If this is a Law of Football Training then on 25 Feb 2006, Dogs United have broken this law. Captain Hoi, who is usually 0 for 10 (that is, 10 chances and 0 goals), and cannot kick the ball in a straight line (let alone make a pass to a teammate) changed the scientific world on this fateful day. A through ball by Jason from midfield found space between the JPXX defense and their GK. This ball was played in front of Hoi who amazingly (1) ran, (2) held off their center-back, and (3) shot first time into the bottom corner of the JPXX goal! 1-0!! This goal out of nowhere totally surprised the JPXX team. But I'm sure the other Dogs were more shocked than the opponents ...

JPXX restarted the game. Several minutes later, after more good work from Lo on the right, DUFC won a corner. As Jason was about to take it, Jackie, who was playing in LMF, ran half the pitch to take the right-sided corner. "I will take it" exclaims Jackie. Not to argue with the battling midfielder I positioned myself just outside the penalty box ...

What I (and the rest of the players) were about to witnessed was a perfect example of aerial supremacy. Jackie blasted a great corner-kick which was met in full flight by our advancing sweeper Dennis, who made a full connection in mid-flight and directed it across the face of goal ... into the other top corner of the net! 2-0! I swear the ball did not lose any speed from the moment it left Jackie's foot. It was a goal that Sami Hyypia would be proud of.

With DUFC leading comfortably, the half-time whistle went.

As the Dogs replenished themselves with life-saving water, it was time for Jason to test the new prototype secret weapon, codename: adidas Predator Pulse! Actually, it was unsold stock from last season's models given free by Dennis, "we have some old oversized stock that we can't sell ..." Still, for Jason this was an exciting 'level-up' equipment - even though half the players on both teams were already wearing that model ...

The players went out for the second half. As one of the players, I don't remember who was playing in what position, in fact I can't remember who was playing and who wasn't. "Jason, you play FW" said Jackie. Ok, so Jackie was still playing. I assume Dennis was playing (no-one dare take Dennis' place) and Fly was playing (no-one wants to take Fly's place) ...

Second half and the game started much as the first.

Then an incident happened, which ultimately was to change the course of the game. A harmless pass was played to Joe through the middle. It was a ball which the JPXX GK should have come out early to collect it. However, their GK hesitated, which left Joe with a chance to chase the open ball. By this time, their GK finally decided to come out but resulted in a '50-50' ball between striker and GK ... and they both collided together.

Both Joe and the JPXX GK got up, and continued as normal. However, some of the JPXX players started to shout and abuse Joe (who incidently, was also a JPXX staff). This abuse continued as Joe walked back to the halfway line. Jason walked over to try and calm the JPXX players and resolve the accident but it was to no avail. To my surprise, the GK and Left-back - who is the Managing Director of the Dept - both stood there in silence as though they were watching an amusing movie.

From that moment on, the game's rating changed from Grade I, to Grade IIA, and in no time Grade III. Tackles were flying in from everywhere. There was shouting and arguing. Players were kicking people instead of the ball. DUFC lost their shape and senses ...

But the battle didn't stop there. Off the pitch, crowd trouble was slowly building up, with hooligans from the JPXX seating area throwing abuse onto the pitch. On this day, I now fully understand why Eric Cantona committed his Kung Fu kick into the crowd ...

The Department of Defense was now in shambles. Dogs were being drawn all over the pitch, and the defensive line was pressed further and further into our own penalty area. With no midfield support, the JPXX team cut through the center with ease ... and scored. 2-1

More and more pressure (and reckless tackling) from JPXX continued to press DUFC back. From an inswinging corner, JPXX found room for a shot ... goal. 2-2

With DUFC's advantage gone, the JPXX team took control of the game. Wave after wave of attack, and still the DUFC midfield was missing. It was only a matter of time: another corner, another free shot ... and this time into the top corner of DUFC's goal. 2-3

In the space of only a few minutes, DUFC fell from Heaven to hell. Psychologically, the players were lost. What went wrong?

With football, there is no time-out as in basketball and baseball. There is no time to think and regroup. And there is no place to hide. As Fly picked the ball out of our net once again, it was time for Dogs to show their strength of character. We are better than this! We should play our normal game and not be lured into madness as are the JPXX thugs.

Kick-off once again, but this time its the Dogs turn to chase the game.

Dogs slowly began to once more take control of the game, by passing calmly between the players. The midfield returned to normal service and so did the possession.

It seems the patience of DUFC began to pay off once again, a good run and cross from Joe on the right-wing found Jason in front of the JPXX penalty area. Jason held off their central defenders and back heeled a perfectly weighted pass into a free shooting chance for the advancing Sing! With the goal at his mercy, and all the hope of DUFC, Sing blasted the ball ... into row Z.

Time was running out, and the so was the best chance to equalize. With the hope of Dogs United fading, there was no choice but to test the prototype weapon ...

Having won possession in midfield, Jackie passed a hopeful ball to Jason ... In the blink of the eye, the Blue Angel with Red Demon boots, cut into the penalty area with one touch of the right boot - leaving two defenders totally bemused. Next, without waiting for the ball to stop, shot the ball into the bottom corner with the left boot - leaving the GK with no chance ... 3-3! Two touches - and Dogs United were back from hell!

As the game was about to end, it seems that the League Cup Final would end as a draw. The secret prototype weapon proved successful and saved the soul of DUFC. However, we forgot that out of all the 22+ players at the Aberdeen pitch, there was an even more advanced weapon: Ah On's new Predator +absolute! The 8th generation Predator made for Lampard, Beckham, Ballack, Zidane for the 2006 World Cup, was even more secretly hidden in the DUFC team. With seconds remaining, a good move found Ah On on the right, and from his right boot there could only be one outcome ... GOAL! 4-3!

The final whistle went for what proved to be a Classic Cup Final, that fans will talk about for many generations ...

Dogs United are Champions!

Report by Jason

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